“When a local government’s very existence depends on its citizens breaking the law — when fines from ordinance violations are written into city budgets for the upcoming year as a primary or even the main expected source of revenue — the relationship between the government and the governed is not one of public officials serving their constituents, but of preying off of them. When the primary mission of a police department isn’t to protect citizens but to extract money from them, and when the cops themselves don’t look like, live near or have much in common with the people from whom they’re extracting that money, you get cops who start to see the people they’re supposed to be serving not as citizens with rights, but as potential sources of revenue, as lawbreakers to be caught. The residents of these towns then see cops not as public servants drawn from their own community to enforce the laws and keep the peace, but as outsiders brought in to harass them, whose salaries are drawn from that harassment. The same goes for the judges and prosecutors, who also rarely live in the towns that employ them.”—Why we need to fix St. Louis County (via wilwheaton)
fun statistics for adults! “when I was a kid, I had no help with college tuition, I was hardworking and paid it all myself” -Annual tuition for Yale, 1970: $2,550 -Annual tuition for Yale, 2014: $45,800 -Minimum Wage, 1970: $1.45 -Minimum Wage, 2014: $7.25 -Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 1970: 4.8 -Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 2014: 17.3
So, story time: I am a transman. I got set up on a blind date with a lady. Nervous at first, but we really hit it off. She is gorgeous and sweet and we're both having the time of our lives, and long story short, we end up back at my place. Around the time things get going, I realize she doesn't know: virtually no one does (the friend who set me up on the date sure didn't). So I start to panic a little, because while I am totally into this girl, I've been turned down before when people (c)
get past the pants. So I’m suddenly freaking out, and as much as I love that this is happening, I’m trying to defuse the moment a little. I REALLY like this girl, I really don’t want to blow this. So she seems concerned, and asks what’s wrong, and she looks really freaked out that she’s hurt me or something (or so i assumed). At this point, we’re both nearing panic attack territory, and attempt to stop. While we’re trying to detangle from each other, I realize why she’s freaking out:
she’s gotten hard. Turns out, she’s trans as well, and was scared my panic was because I had realized, and was trying to bail on her for it. I explain, and she cracks the fuck up, and so do I, and long story short: we’ve been married for three years now. I figured you might enjoy, as you’re one of my favorite blogs for relationship/sexuality things, and I thought I should share. :D
Awww. <3 Thank you so much for sharing, and congrats to you and your wife!
Hi! I'm getting married in a few months & I've decided to take his last name, but I'm going to have academic articles/chapters published & I don't know whether I should change my name on those as well, or keep maiden name for professional stuff. Then there's also the awkward in between work that's not academic but I'm known by maiden name... What things did you consider when keeping your maiden name? Is it relatively easy to keep your maiden name professionally at least?
It’s a really personal decision, I can’t advise you on this. Best I can do is tell you my experience.
I got married at 32. I’d had my name for a long time and I was attached to it. I couldn’t conceive of changing it. [It didn’t hurt that Kelly means warrior and DeConnick is a derivative of the king, so my name roughly translates to Warrior King… you don’t change your name when your name means WARRIOR KING.] And, frankly, the history behind the tradition offended me. I wasn’t going from my father’s house to my husband’s. I was an independent woman and I’d been supporting myself for many years before I chose to wed.
It was an awkward conversation when we had it. Though he said he understood, Fraction confessed to a certain amount of disappointment — mostly because he loved the symbolism of sharing a name. We’re both writers — we believe in the power of language — so I got that. I offered that he could either change his name to mine, or we could both change our names to something entirely new.
I think he entertained the idea for less than a minute…? Once he thought about changing his own name and what that would feel like he completely understood where I was coming from and that was pretty much that. He says he’s never thought about it since.
I’ve never once had any problem related to not changing my name.
Now, I’m not an asshole — his grandmother and a few other relatives write to me as “Mrs. Matthew Fritchman” and I don’t correct them or refuse to answer or anything. But I know that’s not my name.
Your mileage my vary. I would certainly never judge another woman for the choice she made. I get that it’s romantic to share a name** and I get that people often don’t like the names they were born to, or the families they were born in. It’s a very personal decision and it’s yours to make.
** Oddly enough, we started to use “DeFraction” as a joke, but it’s caught on enough that our kids sometimes think it’s their real last name.
Libertarian ideology rejects most of the modern regulatory systems that protect consumers, because everyone should be responsible for determining whether the hamburger contains E. coli on his own. But does that do-it-yourself dogma apply to the regulation of medicine, too? If you’re Dr. Rand Paul, practicing ophthalmologist, the answer is emphatically yes.
According to an amusing story in today’s Louisville Courier-Journal, the Kentucky Republican Senate candidate bills himself as a “board-certified” physician even though he is not actually certified by the American Board of Ophthalmology — the only recognized body that certifies doctors in his specialty.
Paul’s only certification was provided instead by something called the National Board of Ophthalmology, which is very convenient because he operates that organization himself. […]
“"Even as he was dying, Mercury threw himself into his majestic, operatic singing. Queen’s Brian May recalls that Mercury could hardly walk when the band recorded "The Show Must Go On" in 1990. "I said, ‘Fred, I don’t know if this is going to be possible to sing,’ " May says. "And he went, ‘I’ll fucking do it, darling’ — vodka down — and went in and killed it, completely lacerated that vocal."”—
Rolling Stone profile of Freddie Mercury for their 100 Greatest Singers list.
"I’ll fucking do it, darling" though.
This is still one of the best things i’ve ever read.